I look back on my life so far and at all the situations where it's been: "Katie will help" or "Ask Katie, she's good at that" or "Katie will do it" or even "Yeah, I know this pushover... she'll help you".
Sometimes I sit and ask myself - WHY am I that person? Why do I feel the need to care and help and fix?
Well yesterday I got my answer.
Back in 2000 I was the girlfriend of a guy that had 2 kids. I had my own two kids of about the same age, so the four boys became best friends and brothers. The boys did everything together. They went to school, did karate, music, drama, played hard together and, when they weren't on their visits to their dad at my house, talked on the phone together too.
I always thought my role was pretty insignificant. I was looking after my boys, so what were two more every other weekend and one week night? They all got along so well together and just fit together like that jig-saw puzzle that just needed those last few pieces.
Unfortunately their dad was troubled and didn't give 100%. I always felt like I needed to be there to pick up the percent that was not provided, so, when dad slept in, the four kids and me would go off out on adventures like shopping at the supermarket, going to the local liquidators and picking up a few cheap toys to keep them occupied for the afternoon, going to McDonalds or to a local event being held at a local mall//rec centre.
At night time when dad decided not to come home until late, we used to all cuddle up in the family room and watch movies, play games and, even one night, we made a game out of "What time will dad come home?". We all had a dollar and made a "pool" of sorts - we made a table with the times from 10pm - 2am listed. We each placed our bets as to when dad would return and, it was a sad turn of events when we all lost because dad never came home at all....
For six years our blended family hung together - the 4 boys growing closer and more amazing before my eyes. I loved every minute of the 'helping' I did in lieu of their dad's presence.
When the inevitable finally happened and the adult relationship splintered, the boys were devastated as they had become family. We stayed in touch as best we could and the boys clung to the contact they could salvage to each other through school, telephone and social media, particularly when we moved away from them.
Yesterday, seven years later I probably received the most wonderful compliment I ever could have received. One of my formerly adopted 'sons' had arrived in town and hooked up with his long lost 'brothers'. I was so overwhelmed by a knock on my door and a very tall, handsome young man standing there smiling. It took a second to realize who he was and what followed made me realize that the seeds you sow are never in vain if they are truly from your heart.
This young man told me that his visit would not have been complete had he not taken time out to see his other 'mom'. It was at that moment that I truly realized that my 'helping' ways had made some kind of a difference in a young boy's life. That what I had done had been truly appreciated and that if I had ever doubted anything about myself that I should stay true to who I am.
